As I sit down to write this*, frustration pulses through me. It's a feeling that's become all too familiar in recent months, stemming from encounters that leave me feeling unseen and unheard. These moments, shared with my partner, highlight a persistent issue I've faced as the Russian-speaking half of our duo, particularly here in the former Soviet Union. Living in a region where gender roles can be deeply entrenched, it's not uncommon for me to find myself relegated to the role of interpreter, despite being an active participant in the conversation. Multiple occasions have arisen where grown men choose to direct their attention solely to my partner, completely ignoring my presence. It's as if my voice holds no weight until it's filtered through him.

One memorable instance took place on a sleeper train journey across borders.

An older gentleman engaged in conversation with my partner while I translated and responded on my own behalf. Hours passed before he acknowledged me directly, marking a significant shift in our interaction. It was a small victory, yet one that spoke volumes about the underlying biases at play. Yet, despite progress in some quarters, the same pattern persists. In recent encounters, whether discussing my place of residence or participating in a purchase, I find myself sidelined once more. My contributions are met with responses directed at my partner, as if my words are inconsequential unless echoed by him. But the challenges extend beyond mere exclusion from conversation. In the realm of taxi rides, a particularly uncomfortable dynamic emerges. When taxi drivers learn that I speak the language and my partner does not, some take it upon themselves to openly try to persuade me to leave him for them, all while he sits right beside me, rendered invisible in their eyes. These experiences serve as a stark reminder of the entrenched gender dynamics that continue to shape our interactions, even in supposedly progressive times. As a woman navigating predominantly male spaces, asserting my presence and demanding recognition can feel like an uphill battle. But amid the frustration lies a glimmer of hope. Each instance serves as a catalyst for conversation and reflection, prompting me to challenge outdated norms and advocate for my rightful place at the table. It's a reminder that change is gradual and often requires persistent effort. To those who find themselves in similar situations, know that you are not alone. Your voice matters, and your experiences are valid. Together, we can strive for a future where gender ceases to dictate the terms of engagement, and every voice is given the respect it deserves. So, as I pen these words, I do so with a renewed determination to speak up, to be heard, and to challenge the status quo. For in the face of adversity, our voices become our most potent tools for change. And it's time to make them heard.

*note that this post is from the past